12.20.2011

Leading by example

My mind and thoughts have been so random lately. I've been taking this Zoloft for awhile now, and I really am starting to see and feel the changes in myself. It's like I can finally catch and pin down thoughts and concentrate on them. Which makes for a MUCH smoother creative process, and solving problems has been easier as well. Before I would just panic, and shut down, now I don't panic as much :)


The other day I was talking about financial security, and how to get it. I've been researching a lot, and read through several articles on finances. So far I've got most of our financial goals down for now. Just have to pin the fiancĂ©e down and pound out a budget. I spoke to him about it the other night, and I could tell he wasn't pleased. He said we would talk more after Christmas. I know that's a cop-out, but he really loves Christmas, and loves spending money on others. He's not selfish, and he spares no expense when it comes to giving. It is a blessing and a curse, but you know, if I have to broke all my life from giving to others, it will be a life well spent :)

So here's where we get to the main topic of today's post. Leading. By. Example. I'm not going to go into the backstory completely, because we would be here forever, so I'll do a quick summary, get to the point, and then delve deeper into different situations and topics as they present themselves. Everyone on board? Mkay, :)

Adam and I have had a VERY rocky relationship. When we first started dating neither one of us knew how to love or care, or what it means to be truly in love, and we sucked at handling so many of the hard times that inevitably come in every relationship. We didn't know who we were as people, and we didn't what we wanted or where we were going, and let me tell you, things got rough. But we stuck things out like people in love do, and we are still together, and building a life together on the foundation of God. We know now what we want from life. I know what I want.

I want to be a good wife. A wife worth having. A Godly wife. I want to be a good mother. A Godly mother. I want to be a good person. A Godly person. I want to bring out the very best of me, and put everything I have into building a solid life, and of walking a Godly path. I strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman. To me, she is better than any Martha or Betty. 

That being said, I am far from a selfless being. Especially when it comes to Adam. He is my everything. I never get enough time with him. I think I could be by his side 24/7 365 and still not have enough time with him. Have you seen the movie Fireproof ? If not, watch it now! After seeing that movie months ago for the first time, I find myself admitting to myself more that I like to made a fuss of on occasion. And Adam is a sweetheart, but he does need a bit of prompting, and it has caused it's fair share of discord in our relationship. But I have a solution.

How am I supposed to expect him to go out of his to do things for me, when I don't do that for him enough either? My plan is to lead by example. I've gotten up super early two days to fix him breakfast before work. And I'm going to keep striving to lead by example, even if he never reciprocates. I want to make him happy. Period :) You can take that to the bank.

Love 
Bubsy

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